The idea that good sex life is an important aspect in a relationship is a fairly common one and is shared by many people, inside and outside the relationships themselves. Let's say, we all agree that " having a good time in bed " turns out to be part of the success of many relationships, right?
However, ironically, the idea of talking openly about what happens in the intimacy of the relationship seems to be something (even today) taboo. Even for the same couple. And it is that, as it is sad as if they do not want to hurt feelings like that one does not know-how, that it is not right for one to talk about those things; that "what are you going to think of me", that "I better not comment on anything", "I do - / # & $% * and it passes me", and the truth is that there is no reason or benefit to obey all these thoughts. They only deprive you of discovering incredible things about yourself and your partner.
If we think about it carefully, we can realize that, it would seem that all people, men and women, hope to bring as a chip or a manual inserted into sexuality, that it should " automatically " know how to be the ideal lover for that being so special, and vice versa. And the truth is that, contrary to what porn or Hollywood tells us, sexuality as a couple usually is not like that. That, rather, is worked, sweated, built in the (delicious) daily practice.
But, if we already know that sexual life is an important issue in couple relationships, and we already know that the only obstacle to speaking clearly about the issue with my partner is this wall of prejudice in my mind, what better idea than to tear them down! And now, let's find out what our partner thinks and feels in shared intimacy.
Remember that we are not beings with powers of divination or mind-reading, so it is worth accepting that, if we want to know in detail how our partner feels and what our partner thinks, regarding the sexual or non-sexual aspect of the relationship, we have to talk about it, talk about it openly. Communicate.
It all sounds simple and very beautiful, but… and where do you start?
Calm down Let me share some ideas with you:
Although it seems incongruous, many times talking about sex, after having it, is usually not the best idea. And not because of the fact of talking about it, but because of the characteristic way that conversational train can sometimes take. We can expose ourselves to very personal or private questions that we do not want to talk about, discussions that, instead of helping and enriching, harm. Perhaps it would be a novel idea to take these talks to the breakfast or dinner table, or some other place; talk about it at some point when we know that, if the spirits rise, they may end up putting what was discussed into practice. The thing is to be sensitive to a good opportunity, that does not harm anyone, and that allows the warmth of a good talk.
Let's not forget the beautiful habit of also pointing out the good, enjoyable and pleasant things that we are experiencing with the couple. Telling him what you like, or liked about a recent encounter, can open the conversation to the possibility that the practice will be repeated, or that it will be perfected, or that they will go together to explore new frontiers of that same path of pleasure.
This is the tricky part, but also a very helpful and empowering one. If we learn to express in a better way what does NOT seem to us in bed or other areas of the relationship, undoubtedly it will be easier to find solutions to those problems. A good start is always to speak from yourself, from the personal, from how something that happened made you feel in such a way, focusing on what you feel, and avoid making judgments or blaming. Finally, be encouraged to propose how they could prevent that from happening again.
Remember, the success of a relationship is shared, and it is nourished by many key factors such as communication, respect, affection and of course, a lot of pleasure!
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